


Sex Change

by TheChichiSlaughterHouse



Category: One Piece
Genre: Crack, Gen, Multi, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-19
Updated: 2009-02-19
Packaged: 2018-11-10 12:59:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11127453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheChichiSlaughterHouse/pseuds/TheChichiSlaughterHouse
Summary: Sanji decides to ask Nami out. It doesn't go how he'd hoped. He then tries his luck with the rest of the crew. Used to be 3 separate chapters but mushed into one now. Mostly just jokes at Sanji's expense. Implied NamixRobin.





	Sex Change

**Author's Note:**

> Sex Change
> 
> By The Chichi Slaughter House
> 
> Warnings: SanjixEveryone (yeah, I know), RobinxNami, ZoroxSanji, yuri, yaoi, attempted humour.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own One Piece~
> 
> Rating: G

After constantly being rejected since he had ever met her, Sanji finally decided to ask Nami why she never took up his offers. He wasn’t bad looking after all, and he made it his business to protect her.

“Maybe if you had a sex change, I’d consider it.” Nami had replied gently, shocking him to the core. At his expression, Robin chuckled and gently took Nami’s hand, interlacing their fingers gently.

“I’m afraid _that’s how it is_ , cook-san.”

After looking between them helplessly for a full ten minutes, Sanji spent the rest of the day crying in the men’s quarters.

\--Part 2--

After his traumatic answer from Nami, Sanji decided to try his luck with someone else. There were other people on the ship after all, though none were as beautiful as her and Robin.

Walking confidently over to Usopp, the blond leant against the wall and watched him in his workshop for a few moments before asking him, making sure to smile charmingly. The other teen had been staring after him ever since he joined! 

“Hmmm… Maybe if you had a sex change?” Falling to his hands and knees in defeat, Sanji scrambled away to go and cry in the galley.

\--Part 3--

Even after his rejection from Usopp, Sanji didn’t seem to learn his lesson. He told himself _again_ that there were more than three others on the ship, and proceeded to do and ask each and every one of them to go out with him, even if he wasn’t interested. Right now, all he wanted was an ego-boost.

However, he was horrified when almost every single response was the same. Sure, there were variations – like Brook asking if he wore panties and Chopper asking if he was alright – but it was pretty much the same thing. Heartbroken, he slumped against the tree in the middle of the deck, his shoulders heaving as he tried to stop feeling completely worthless. Okay, so there was no one on deck who would date him, but surely there was some beautiful woman out there who had seen his wanted poster and would—

Slamming his head against the bark, Sanji felt even worse. Surely nothing would cheer him up now!

Of course, after asking the crew about that sort of thing, everyone was discussing it in hysterics when they found they’d all answered the same way. Frowning from his place at the table, however, Zoro was offended. Out of everyone, he was the only person Sanji _hadn’t_ asked, and when Nami turned to him with a grin to ask, he slammed down his booze and stomped off to find the skinny bastard.

Spotting him out on deck slumped against the tree, he was about to smack him around the head with a sword when he saw how truly upset he was.

“…I wouldn’t ask ya for a sex change.” He said loudly. At this, the blonde turned around, wiping at his eyes. “You’re girly enough anyway.”

Ten seconds later, he was eating dirt as Sanji left.


End file.
